Saturday, August 8, 2009


One of the things I hate the most in all of rap music is the fans who either because of lifelong placement or stupid fanboyism become single-coastal. I don't want to hear that you think the five greatest rappers of all time are Snoop Dogg, Nipsey Hu$$le, Ice Cube, Ice-T, and The Game. I don't want to hear that the five realest street emcees out are Unk, Lil' Scrappy, Gucci Mane, Yung Joc, and Andre 3000. And most of all, I don't want to hear that you think the five greatest rapping duos of all time are M.O.P., EPMD, Mobb Deep, Run-D.M.C., and ... Wu-Tang Clan. Just so you can be a [insert curse word here] hip hop single-city elitist. Which is what happened over at Unkut. It makes me hate that geography is even a subject in school.

I know the tagline for the entire website is "A Tribute to Ignorance (Remix)", but it's just so damn ... ignorant. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. If you don't think OutKast is even a contender for the greatest rap group/duo/anything to ever come out of hip hop, then you are a complete idiot. Or else you've never listened to an OutKast record, whatsoever. Or you are a complete idiot. It irritates me so much worse than it should, but it legitimately does. It's worse than any basketball argument that I'd frequently participate it. Karl Malone is the greatest NBA power forward to have ever lived, but I really don't care if you agree with me or not. I might write a column on it, but I don't for real care if I convert everyone's thinking in the world. Kobe Bryant is the greatest basketball player to have ever lived, but I gave up a long time ago on worrying if anyone else realized it. But the thing with OutKast is just ... it's inarguable. I don't care if Dre Three Stacks circa 2001 dropped his afro in your soup. I don't care if Big Boi took your woman while you were at someone in your immediate family's funeral. OutKast is still the single greatest duo ever and has countless hits of universal music with indisputable artistic integrity and progression in an industry full of stagnancy and trend-followers. I will outright say that hip hop would be boring and uninspired without them and their incalculable influence on all of their peers and future offspring. Ugh. I hate it when people are homers.

I'm not gonna sit here behind my glowing Mac computer screen and try to convince you Michael Porter should have been in the consideration for 1st Team All-American last year. I actually have a brain capable of logic and pride simultaneously. Just because you live in New York does not give you the entitlement to disregard any and all emcees who don't claim a familiar burrow. And similarly, just because you were raised in the Dirty South does not excuse you for claiming crunk was in it for the long hall. Or snap. Or crank. Or whatever other crap is coming out now. The East, West, South, and Rhymesayers are all guilty of it. And it's crap. You are why hip hop is ever accused of dying. Homers. All of you. And I'm so blindly enraged by it at this very millisecond that I can't even write anything else about it. But, yes, I do happen to know that Wu-Tang isn't a duo ...

... but do take my word for it.

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